I found something…

I was cleaning my room the other day and I found something. This used to be the best perk of cleaning my room as a kid and was also part of why it took me forever. It wasn’t just that my room was messy, but I’d find something and be super distracted by it for who knows how long and then finally get back to my mess. This time, it wasn’t a lost toy or a missing pile of notes from friends at school, it was just a few sentences I wrote last year.

I was doing one of those short online courses where you refresh your mind and get focused back on the Lord, and on this certain day, there were 2 questions.

“Is there anything I’m afraid of letting go of that could keep me from going “all in” with God?”

and

“What are my hopes and dreams for the year ahead?”

Big questions. Big if you’re honest. Big if you really really think about them. And big if you’re like me and hate writing things down like that because you’re trying really hard to just keep them in and process them on your own.

But I wrote down my answers. And somehow, in the chaos that is the spot next to my side of the bed, the Lord stashed them so I would find them, nearly a year later.

To the first question about what I am afraid of, I answered, “The unknown. How He’ll reshape my life. It’s exciting but REALLY scary.”

And to the second, about my hopes and dreams for last year, I answered, “That I can let go. That I surrender and He begins that work. That I really step in to who I am supposed to be.”

It blew my mind to read those. To think on last year and see His hand. To know that those things are happening and He is moving. To remember where and who I was.

He is so faithful. He is so loving. He is so kind. He is for us.

And in this never ending month that is January, grab a coffee or tea, go sit yourself down, and ask yourself a few questions. Be brave and be honest and write the answers down. And one day, God will bring them back to you and if you’ve even at all stepped towards Him, I know you’ll see it in those words.